the1warrior's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I am sitting here listeing to the mixed Tool Cd Jeremy made me on my cd walkman and I am trying my best to not concentrate on the overwleming sadness that is running skipping jumping through me. Sherry is flying in tomorrow and then we drive to NY on March 3rd which is friday...all I have left is tuesday wednesday and thursday. Three full days and what am I going to do with it? What am I going to do when I leave here? I will miss my friends more than anything and i think that will be the hardest part but the ones who are real and true will be there no matter where we live. I just feel so blah i feel like i want to play dangerously with knives...or maybe sit at a table and play russian roulette for a while...Just to ease the tension that flies through me at every waking moment...the moment I end up in my own apartment with my girlfriend and my cat and my dog all will be okay and i will have actually done it enough so that I can be proud of myslef and not want to run run run as far away as I can away from love and happiness because you know what I deserve it I know i do. I reaallllyyy do. I deserve to live in peace and calm for a while settle myself somewhere where I can feel and be safe...alone or with Sherry I know I will be okay and I also know I must go. I guess I can write forever and just ramble on about nothing and everything and something just to keep my mind moving instead of thinking and dwelling on the sadness inside my heart and the thoughts that are running through my mind. ahhh fuck it 11:05 p.m. - 2006-02-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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