the1warrior's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- after a while Sometimes there are so many thoughts in my head I just dont know what to do with them all. I miss my mang more than she could imagine. They are both so happy together which makes me so freggin happy I want to jump for joy. I just feel like it would be nice if I could get a little mang time in here and there. I miss connectiing and hashing things out but what does she need me for that when she has marissa. So basically the Mangs...are not the Mangs anymore were Heather and Marissa and MIchele and Sherry. I miss my mang! Sherry...I love that girl very much but I feel like i need a minute to breathe. I cant be with her 24/7 because then i start to feel caged and my mind drives itself mad with too much building and no time to process it all. Alone time is very important to me. So i came home last night I left sherrys at 3am smoked a joint I had left over from the party the other night and drove windows down down Alt 19 and moved to the music and breathed the fresh air in my face and felt free once again. All it takes is a little breather!!! Forever is a long time I told her but not meaning it to be some asshole remark just meaning it in the way where when she says forever it scares the living shit out of me. Oy. Mike stood very close to me touching my side on friday and squinted his eyes and said "You look really good" and then implied something about how he would fuck me when I lost more weight. FUCK HIM!!! And then yesterday he said something about malesting him in the warehouse although I did grab his belt buckle. But still he drives me crazy because I dont know if I want to sleep with him or if I dont...Men frighten me...women soothe me. SO there you go I finally talked to Sara about how I couldnt get her little beautiful wonderful self out of my heart. It was a great conversation and she made me feel validated once again. She allows me to freely express all my feelings which is wonderful! I saw her on Friday and the feeling inside was different...I got my friend back! I love that girl. She wants me to move to NY...I want to...but then I dont...my mind goes back and forth. I think I am going to go do a Taroh reading...hopefully that will help. 3:30 p.m. - 2005-08-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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