the1warrior's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RIP Jojo mi conejo I can't breathe, I'm suffocating. I do this to myself. The cycle reveals itself time and time again. I am just not sure about the levels of good and evil. What is working, what isn't? I see the benefits of freedom and of love. Why is it that I can't seem to grasp the freedom within love concept? It isn't an "all the time" feeling. I get in these spaces when I feel so caged in. I feel so unbelievably attached. And I desire time to go. to be. to see. I know I love Corina. My desire fades in and out and in different forms. It raises an internal eyebrow when things come out of my mouth, and out of my energy that necessarily should not. And I wonder to myself if I am on the right path. My friend Joe died on sunday. He was an amazing man. His positivity shined through to everyone. His smile and special way at humor would keep you laughing and in a good mood. I loved him. I am still in shock, and have had heavy heart since. So on my day off yesterday which I do not normally have I spent it with a few choice friends and a lot of pot. I knew it, I felt it, and I did it anyway. By the third blunt I may have been someone that was either REALLY MYSELF or not myself at all. You choose. It was too much and today I woke up with a weed hangover and I have just felt so odd since Joe died. Like I expect him to be there and say (in a flamboant gay voice) things like ohh your such a mannn michele when I would burp or something. Idk its the the little things that always made you smile that youll always remember. I will never forget. RIP Joesph. What the fuck am I even going through right now? I just do not know. I should have been in the 60's then my make love and travel around theory would have worked out. I could have been a hippie. I should have been a hippie. 11:24 p.m. - 2010-08-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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