the1warrior's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love hurts time time says 1121pm what does that mean to you folks? Is it time for sleep time for work time for love time for sex time for drugs time to party? The bed calls to me and I fear it why? Unknown territory where in fact it is all known...Interesting. Fear a useless emotion full of madness and sacrifice. Why must we put ourselves through all this madness? Why must we constantly question things we already know. I question all live inside my head and wonder about the left side and the right side of it all. Many questions linger about her and I wonder how it will all fall into place. Trying desparetly to live in the moment and jumping to tiny pieces of the future without knowing it. A mind so clutter with thoughts and feelings and emotions no one could survive it all at once but I must. We must. The people we love in our lives are there for a reason and when are you going to figure out why. We love and live and let go of love and re live and re love and hurt and break and shatter and all of it is wrapped up in this huge concept of the ONE. When we meet that person we know...Why must we fight it so much that on a daily basis you question your self your motives you feelings? I am not perfect. You are not perfect. None of us are perfect and we all sit on our little high horses thinking were queen shit of the world and to tell you the truth were not...were all only HUMAN. Can you feel the blood pumping through your viens? Can you hear your heart beat...or hers? Interesting effects of no sleep over worked full bellyed. Must learn how to dissapate my own fear. So unecessary it all is. Cofusing, maddening, frustrating myself...all for what? I give in. I let it all go. I release you, and you, and you, and even though its is the hardest...YOU as well. Detachment...living for me...My love will never fade...my grasp slowly will. And as I sit on my stoop in NYC I'll think of you...and I'll remember the love, the hugs, the deep intimate conversations, the connection. And Ill close my eyes and call your name in my head and youll hear me...and youll know...I love you, and you, and you. My body is cold and my eyes are half closed. Time to end this and realize where I should really be. In my big comfy bed. 11:20 p.m. - 2005-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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